Returning Renault Bears to a worthwhile life of daytime telly, eating jammy toast and surfing the internet.
Politics
As Serious As A Bloke With A Duck On His Head
Thu 29th Apr 2010
Mad Capt'n Tom
The Bears and I would like to give everyone an apology. Yesterday, we stated that The Bear Blog was a no-go zone as far as the election was concerned but today we have changed our minds. We have decided we are going to back one of the candidates running at the next election. Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg can all get lost we are not going to follow any of them but there is one serious candidate worthy of our support.
Mad Captain Tom is a candidate running in London and hoping to be elected to parliament. His manifesto has helped him gain 5,000 followers on Facebook and another 2,000 on Twitter because Mad Captain Tom is a Pirate. His election pledge is to abolish the tax on rum and become the only pirate to become an elected member of parliament.
His other policies include introducing “swordsmanship” to the national curriculum as he says, “half of ‘em be known’ how t’use a knife already.” He describes his chances of success as a “snowball’s chance in hell” but says he will pay for his plans by introducing a 50% tax for downloads of Cheryl Cole songs because “I can’t stand her music”.
We felt we had to ask him if he was being serious to which he replied, “I be wearin’ a duck on me head, matey, an’ be saying’ that I be fixin’ broken Britain wi’ duct tape. I suspect I not be entirely serious.”
Unfortunately, not everyone sees the funny side as Captain Tom says, “Somehow bankers an’ other folks in suits not be appreciatin’ a bloke wi’ a duck on his head.”
Thank ye kindly, me hearties, an’ smooth sailin t’ye!
Political No-Go Zone
Wed 28th Apr 2010
The Bears would like to announce they are making their website a General Election no-go area. We will not be mentioning it on any of our future posts and we could not give a flying fig who wins it. Most politicians are only in politics for what they can get for themselves and do not intend to help their community or anyone else for that matter.
We are bored of picking up newspapers and reading what this Politian has said or that Politian has done and we do not care who Gordon Brown thinks is a bigot. Furthermore, we think the Election Chicken is stupid, Ken Clarke is a fat git and Alistair Darling could not even balance the Bears piggybank let alone the country’s economy.
We cannot understand why there was turmoil over David Cameron being airbrushed on his election posters because we think he looks airbrushed in real life too. We do admit it is quite amusing watching a man who was educated at Eton trying to convince the country he is in touch with the common man.
The Bears would further like to announce that no matter who wins the election we will still have a national debt to repay, still have high unemployment and still have the highest taxation in Europe.
Politicians go away; you are all as bad as each other!
Gary’s Mummy To The Rescue
Sat 10th Apr 2010
Gary McKinnon and his Mummy
Another chapter in the story of our friend Gary McKinnon is about to start with the news that his mummy is going to stand at the General Election in the Blackburn constituency of Jack Straw. His mummy, Janis Sharp, blames the Justice Secretary for pushing through the extradition treaty with America.
Under the treaty, Gary could be sent to America for crimes committed in this country and could serve a 60-year prison sentence if found guilty. He is accused of breaking into military computer systems when all he was doing was trying to find evidence of UFOs.
Ms Sharp is to stand as an independent candidate and says she blames the Labour Party for eroding civil liberties. She said, “Jack Straw led us to believe the extradition treaty would only be used for terrorists, but it is not being used for this. Once these things are brought in, we don’t know where they will go next. It’s very frightening.”
The Labour government have defended extradition laws with the US saying it had simplified existing rules while still protecting the rights of suspects. Critics have said the law is not being used as intended, to fight terrorists, and cases such as Gary’s highlight the injustice of the treaty.
A judicial review of Gary McKinnon’s case will be heard in the High Court at the end of May.
Ms Sharp said she had voted Labour in the past but now it was time for people to, “vote with their heads and not with their habits”. She added, “I don’t expect to get in but I feel civil liberties need a voice”.
It is a shame The Bears and I do not live in Blackburn, because we know who would get our votes!
The Bear Party?
Wed 19th Aug 2009
Imagine if Bears made the law?
Last night, after we posted about us wanting to join the Pirate Party, we started chatting amongst ourselves about how good it would be if we started off our own party.
The Bear Party!
We could change as many laws as we wanted and make the law so that it helps people instead of turning ordinary people into criminals. After we had read some of the information on The Pirate Party website we came across some shocking truths about some of the laws in this country.
Did you know it is actually illegal, unless you get a licence, to sing Happy Birthday to someone at their Birthday Party. Officially you are supposed to pay royalties to the copyright owner who is not the person who wrote the song but some massive multi-million pound organisation. That organisation has made over £25million from the Happy Birthday song and not one single penny has ever gone to the person who wrote it.
The law that says a sick man like Gary McKinnon, can be extradited to America to stand trial for a crime he committed in this country could be another law we could change. There are many examples of laws that need to be brought in or existing laws that need to be changed.
So tonight, we are asking you, if we formed The Bear Party and won the next General Election which law do you think we should change or which law do you think we should introduce?
The Bears To Become Pirates
Tue 18th Aug 2009
Years ago if you read a good book or watched a good film on video, then you lent it to a friend to see if they liked it. Today we do the same with DVD’s and music. This has turned us all into criminals who are spied on by the government and big businesses to try to prevent us from giving digital copyrighted material to friends and if we are caught then we have to pay massive fines or even face prison.
Enter The Pirate Party UK.
The Pirate Party, which won a seat in the European Parliament, has launched in the UK. The party, which started in Sweden, campaigns to legalise non-commercial Internet file-sharing and plans to contest the next general election. It gained over 7% of the vote in Sweden recently after the trial of the founders of Pirate Bay, a well-known file-sharing site. It also campaigns for free speech and against “excessive surveillance”.
They have 3 policies:
- Reform the copyright and patent laws. They want to legalise non-commercial file sharing and reduce the excessive length of copyright protection, while ensuring that when creative works are sold, it’s the artists who benefit, not monopoly rights holders like large record companies.
- End the excessive surveillance, profiling, tracking and monitoring of innocent people by Government and big business.
- Ensure that everyone has real freedom of speech and real freedom to enjoy and participate in shared culture.
The Bears are tired of being treated like criminals when they share entertainment digitally over the Internet, even though this is just the modern equivalent of lending a book or a DVD to a friend. Now there is a way for us to take back our rights. We, The Bears, want to help the Pirate Party overturn the fat cats and the corrupt MP’s who hold cultural treasures to ransom.
The Internet has turned the world into a global village. Music can be shared at incredible speed, and at no cost to anyone. The benefits are plain for us all to see, but as a result, many record companies who have a vested interest are threatened. The old guard works hard to preserve their power and their privilege, so we must work harder to win back these freedoms.
Outdated laws must change and so The Bears are joining The Pirate Party!
