Returning Renault Bears to a worthwhile life of daytime telly, eating jammy toast and surfing the internet.
Meerkat News
Aleksandr’s Book
Mon 7th Jun 2010
Hello Peoples,
Greetings from your old friend Aleksandr, founder of CompareTheMeerkat.com. I not speak with Bear friends for too long so today; I tell you personally about some very excite news for you all.
I recent find old typewriter in attic and due to popular demand, I decide to write book about life of myself Aleksandr. Book is called “A Simples Life: The Life and Times of Aleksandr Orlov” and will be in shop for Christmas. I think will be Christmas Number 1 Bestseller… unless Mr Jeremy Clarkson publish another edition of his angry dreams.
Book will be very thrilling and tell story of my family and life. It will tell all about my ancestors and history of our battle with great mongoose hordes. It also tell how I achieved success and what it is like to be billionaire meerkat entrepreneur.
My Assistant, Sergei, also feature in book but he is very busy typing up first chapter as I speak.
Remember to be saving all pocket moneys ready to buy book for enjoyable Christmas. It also make very interesting present for friends and family.
Thank you so glad.
Aleksandr Orlov.
founder of CompareTheMeerkat.com
Simples
Thu 8th Apr 2010
Simples in his margarine tub
As regular readers of the blog will know, we are quite friendly with Aleksandr Orlov; the infamous Meerkat from the Compare the Meerkat adverts. Last night Aleks told us of a story that had us all holding out for a miracle concerning a baby Meerkat born down in Exmoor Zoo, Devon.
The Meerkat was born during the recent cold weather and her mother abandoned her. When born, Meerkats are about the size of an average human thumb and are very susceptible to the cold. This Meerkat was found abandoned at the edge of its enclosure in a bad way and close to death. She weighed only 18g (½oz) and it is thought she was abandoned because she was the runt of the litter.
Luckily, the baby Meerkat is now making a full recovery. She has been named “Simples” by staff at the zoo after the catchphrase Aleks uses for his television adverts. She was hand-reared by the Zoo’s Lynn Reynolds who said she had now built up a healthy appetite.
Lynn said, “She eats chicken, mincemeat, scrambled egg, hard-boiled egg, some fruit and she loves her insects.” The insects include about 14 giant mealworms a day, plus locusts and the odd cricket.
The Bears did not like the sound of her diet and all agreed they would stick to their Jammy Toast!
Interview with Aleksandr Orlov
Tue 9th Feb 2010
Poster for Alek's latest hollywood blockbuster
We have not spoken to our old friend Aleksandr Orlov, founder of comparethemeerkat.com, for some time so we thought today that we would see how he is getting on. He has been a busy Meerkat lately, thanks to the success of his latest Hollywood blockbusting advertisement. Busy indeed, as he entertains more than 600,000 Facebook friends and 31,000 Twitter followers each day from his stately home in Moscow. He is also still on the publicity trail for his first Hollywood film The Journey of Courageousness. “It’s the best 60-second independent meerkat adventure film of all time,” Orlov says. “This movie is a claw-biting edge-of-seat thrill-ride.”
Aleksandr is most famous for his television commercials. Aided by his bespectacled sidekick Sergei, and dressed in a smoking jacket, Aleksandr explains in his broken English the difference between his dating website comparethemeerkat.com (“size, hobbies, interests, etc”) and comparethemarket.com (“for cheap car insurance”).
Aleksandr himself has become a media phenomenon; Harrods produced replica Aleksandr Orlov soft toys this Christmas (when you squeeze his tummy he says his catchphrase “simples, meeep”). Meanwhile, pet shops across Britain have been bombarded with requests for Meerkats. Last February, Aleksandr made a guest appearance on a Comic Relief advertisement along with Churchill, the dog from the Churchill Car Insurance advertisement, and Bertie the Liquorice Allsort.
Nevertheless, Aleks is so much more real than they are. Fans can watch the “bloops” of his commercials, on comparethemeerkat.com, including one where he accidentally breaks into Russian, and another where he is caught looking at a “showkat” website. His witty Facebook and Twitter updates also bring him to life. Earlier this week he informed followers that his smoking jacket, which has grown slightly tighter since Christmas, is to be replaced by an aerobics leotard as he starts his new year’s fitness regime.
We thought we would start by asking Aleks how he came up with the idea of comparethemeerkat.com.
It was the idea of my Papa Anton. It actually came to him in a dream after he had eaten a larger than normal plate of cheesy beetles.
What did you study at school?
I am graduate of the “Learn English Through Acupuncture” correspondence course. I am also qualify cravateer and fur stylist.
You have clearly embraced the digital age… has it been difficult?
No, it was piece of centipede cake. My ITkat, Sergei, used to work on Russian space program and has install state of art computermabob with extra large RAM jar and floppy box.
What do you think has been your most amusing Facebook update?
What do termites eat for breakfast? Oakmeal! That killed at the Annual Leaders in Commeerce Roundtable this year.
How much time do you spend at your computer each day?
In morning I have to spend many hour replying to timewasters who are email me for cheap car insurance deal. The rest of day split between snacking and Tweeting about snacks.
Which is your Favourite website?
I am current working on a new social media website, called Fritter. It is like Facebook and Twitter combine to let you waste time more efficiently. But I also love the Bear Blog.
Who do you most admire?
Celine Dion for produce some of best emoto-pop records in all time.
What are you most proud about?
I am proud of Orlov family museum. I have spent years collecting relic from my family’s past, like grub tin from their old home in the Kalahari and first cravat ever worn by an Orlov. If there was fire in mansion I do not know what I would send Sergei in to save first.
How many marriage proposals have you had?
Today it is under 10. Ever? Let us just say that if I had a rouble for every one, I would be able to add a third storey to my limousine.
If you were a character from a book, who would it be?
Knightkat. He is star of graphic novel I am working on. He run successful internet business by day but is crime fighting evil mongoose at night. It is base on true story.
What is your favourite piece of clothing?
My smoking jacket was made special for me by tailor in Makaryev. It will always have special place in my heart, mainly because it has special place for my tail.
Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
My fur is too luscious and my tastes too sophisticate for that.
What is the most important thing your mother told you?
“Never go up onto the roof with your roller skates on.”
On that note, we really do have to admit – there is no one quite like Aleksandr Orlov!
Simples!
Sat 9th Jan 2010
Dear Bear Comrades!
We are victory!
“Simples” has been recognise as important English word and legitimal Scrabble entry! I read in Sun Newspaper, that Susie Dent – Oxford University Press Word Queen – has said it is her favourite word of year. It is definitely better than “Jeggings”, which I think is some type of fruit.
She correctly define “simples” as mean “something is very easy to achieve”. Example sentence: “I beat Sergei at Scrabble today and made him go in sulk for an hour – simples!” Look for it in your future editions of the Dictionary of Oxford English!
I must thank you all for signing petition and lobbying your local Language Tsar. It is make my fur quiver with gratefulness.
Yours victoriously,
Aleksandr Orlov
Founder of Comparethemeerkat.com
Aleksandr Orlov Toy
Fri 13th Nov 2009
Aleksandr Orlov toy, what everyone will be wanting this Christmas!
Many hellos to you my Bear Friends, hope you having yourself a good Friday?
Please make welcomes for new handsome Aleksandr action toy in box! Sergei have pricked paws many time to make sure cravat design is just right. He has even put miniature computermabob in belly so when you squeeze I can make witty chat with you.
Now peoples can have physical reminder that I compare meerkats only. Luxurious toy will appear in luxurious Harrods, run by good business friend Mr Al Fayed.
So sorry I not talk to you for long time but I be too busy trying to spell out difference between meerkat and market for mongoose brains everywhere. I am also practising my archery, I can even shoot teeny grape from Sergei’s head. This is not problem for Sergei, he not have much fur for catch on arrows anyway.
I be very busy also writing letter for Santa Claws or other name is Chris Crinkley. I have been extra good meerkat this year so hoping for handsome present. I think if I put out warm glass of milk, plate of millipedes and latest tetris maybe he will come. Although Sergei do job for love of comparing meerkats, he also receive excellent pay. For Christmas I will give him juicy millipede bonus. Sergei say he want sexy meerkitten for Christmas I tell him you are crazy my friend, Santa Claws cannot deliver meerkitten . . . that is job of Stork-Kat.
At Christmas me and Sergei will have scorpion l’orange and cockroach crème brulee but not have Christmas cake, instead we try centipede cake. You know what they say “the way to a meerkat’s heart is through his love of centipedes”. Not sure what to get Sergei for present, was thinking of get him giant portrait of me. What more could meerkat want for the Christmas? Hmmm, I am thinking a bright shade of the burgundy, it complement my eyes.
We not usually fight but last night I have argue with Sergei after I catch him watching Harry Potter and not see me on advertisement. I ask him I never here this film and who is Harry? Is he pottery instructor?
I sorry for David that Tranmere Rover do not be winning games. He ask me if I like to buy little club so I tell him I not support any team, but maybe I will purchase team in future. Football clubs is very popular purchase in Russia.
Love Aleksandr
Aleksandr Wallpaper
Tue 3rd Nov 2009
I have portrait of me made for Sergei to hang on his wall
Hello Peoples,
This is Aleksandr here, founder of Compare The Meerkats. Sergei has work so hard on new comparethemeerkat.com website that I have decide do something nice for him. Over weekend, I have portrait painted of me for Sergei to hang on his wall.
I borrow outfit and medals from my great granddaddy Vitaly’s box of outfits and medals. I think it make me look quite grand. If you would like portrait of me for your computermabob, you can now download wallpaper from here.
Simples!
Love Aleksandr.
Question Time With Aleksandr Orlov
Mon 26th Oct 2009
This simple gesture as if say; "Look over here. It is lovely view".
Last week we told you that Aleksandr Orlov, the founder of Compare The Meerkats, had agreed to answer our questions. So today he left Sergei in charge and called round to see what we were going to ask him. First off was Charlie…
Charlie: ask aleks if he is has a costume for Halloween
Aleks: For the Halloween I dress as most horrifying creature of all time, the mongoose. Sergei is busy creating terrifying costume as we speak. It so scary he not sleep for fear of mongoose under bed.
Karen: is aleks married? or got kids?
Aleks: Sergei is only other meerkat in my life at the moment. He has the qualities of both a wife and a baby in that he is both good with sums and nearly bald.
Camille: Do u get fleas aleks? lol
Aleks: I have never had problem with the flea, but I have consult Sergei. He says best thing is to avoiding making friends with them. He made this mistake and now rents head space to a lovely family of Latvian horse mites.
Alex: Do Russian meerkats grow white fur in winter?
Aleks: No, meerkat do not grow white fur, although Sergei is slowly turning brilliant shade of grey.
Razzi: Tranmere have sacked John Barnes but they still keep loosing. Is this the work of a sneaky Mongoose?
Aleks: This sound very much like mongoose sabotage. Best thing to do is lay pair of old shoe in middle pitch. Mongoose will be unable to resist. When they show their stinky face bash with salami. It work everytime. I like be manager but right now it taking all my skill and genius to explain difference between meerkat and market to peanut brains. Maybe in future, I hear they will be havings the two for one sale in January.
Randi: Hey Aleks are you scared in case Sergei gets more popular than you?
Aleks: I ask Sergei about this and tell me he is very popular. He say he so popular, he was banned from the Facebook because have too many friends and break their computamabobs. I think he is telling the white fibs. I am Facebook big star but is not as glamorous as peoples think. I spend all of day respond to message, writing on walls and poking many peoples. Is exhausting work. Sometimes I not even have enough energy left to climb in Jacuzzi.
Aleesha wanted to know what do Meerkats eat?
Aleks: On Sundays I like to have Sergei order in some Red Tiger Worm curry from the Taj Mahal in London’s West End. It takes several weeks for deliver but that is just add to the flavour.
On that note we would like to thank Aleksandr for calling round and to everyone who sent in their questions.
Simples!
