Returning Renault Bears to a worthwhile life of daytime telly, eating jammy toast and surfing the internet.
Posts tagged Razzi
How Not To Feed A Hungry Bear
Sat 31st Jul 2010
The Toyota was destroyed as the bear fought to get out
Here at the Bear Sanctuary we know what it is like at feeding time. If you have ever seen a hungry Renault Bear, dying for some Jammy Toast it is an experience you will never forget. In addition, their table manners leave a great deal to be desired and they tend to make an unholy mess into the bargain.
Having said all that, we are quite sure they are not quite as bad as a hungry Grizzly Bear, as Ben Story would undoubtedly agree.
The seventeen year old from Larkspur, Colorado, left a sandwich on the back seat of his Toyota Corolla when he parked it in his drive for the night. A wandering bear smelt the sandwich inside the car and managed to open the door and climb inside. Unfortunately, the door closed behind him and the startled bear went into a panic.
He knocked the cars automatic transmission into neutral, which sent the car rolling 125 feet down the driveway, across the road, down an embankment and into some trees on the other side of the road. In his panic to get out the terrified Bear started to trash the inside of the vehicle.
Mr Story and his family were awoken to the sound of the car alarm going off and the bear had even managed to turn on the hazard warning lights. Mr Story’s father told Denver’s 7News, “The four-way flashers were on. It’s like he knew what was going on, and kept hitting the horn.”
Ben, who managed to take a photograph of the trapped bear, said his car was wrecked and added, “It was pretty big. If you look at the inside of the car, there’s nothing left at all. You could see it moving around, it like took up the entire inside of the car.”
The Larkspur Police later managed to release the Bear by using a rope attached to the door handle from a distance. The bear was last seen running off into the woods. Colorado wildlife expert Tyler Baskfield said bears often enter cars and even houses in search of food. “It happens all the time,” he said. “They’re very smart.”
We all agreed with him on that one however, we could not help but think that if Razzi were trapped inside the car, he would have driven it to the nearest McDonalds! Now that is what you would call smarter than the average bear.
Bear Held To Ransom
Thu 29th Jul 2010
Bear is held to ransom
Renault Bears are normally peace-loving animals and, in spite of being related to larger, more aggressive breeds of bears, they would rather talk things through than get their teeth and claws out. Usually this works and problems are resolved in a peaceful way without the need for Bear violence.
However, some people will just not listen. For some time now, someone on eBay has been holding a Renault Bear for ransom and asking the astonishing price of £22.99 to release him. We have contacted the person previously explaining that the price they are asking is too high but they are rude and reply that their asking price is their business.
While we agree that we cannot dictate the price they ask, it is hardly fair to keep up this Bear’s expectations of finding a new home when they are asking such a high price. To give it some context, that is nearly half a year’s pocket money for one of our Bears.
This Bear has been on eBay for some time now and it keeps attracting the same asking price. When will these people finally learn that no one is going to pay it and think of the poor Bear and not their own bank balance?
You need to lower the price considerably people or we will be forced to send Razzi and the boys round!
Anything To Keep The Peace
Thu 15th Jul 2010
Sometimes it is not all fun and games at the Bear Sanctuary. Bears can sometimes be very temperamental and any animal that has spent years in bed being cuddle by kids is going to be fond of its own way. Teddy Bears are loved from a very early age by children, this leads to them being spoilt, and they become little brats if you are not careful.
Razzi is no exception and as well as being fond of his own way, he sulks a lot too.
Yesterday, while we were trying to find a picture to feature in our post, Razzi wanted us to use a picture of his new friend, Donkey. We explained that the Picture of the Day posts where used for pictures of Bears but he would not listen and got into a right little strop. He refused to eat his tea and spent half the evening not speaking to anyone. He only started behaving when we said we would make him go and stay with Granny.
So to please Razzi, and so we can get back into his good books, we are today featuring a picture of his friend. We are pleased to introduce, Donkey…
Razzi's friend: Donkey
…and just to clear up any confusion, Donkey is not anybody Razzi actually knows – he just found his picture on the internet and decided that the donkey was his friend. Edward thinks that Donkey maybe Razzi’s “imaginary friend”.
Latest Bear News…
Mon 5th Jul 2010
We are pleased to announce that things are back to normal today following our outage yesterday. We would like to apologise to everyone who tried to access the site only to find an advert for alloy wheels. We have forgiven our domain hosts for their mistake after they offered their own apologies for the mistake, which lead to our domain name not being renewed.
We had been planning to have a Musical Sunday yesterday but instead of posting it late when most people would have missed it, we decided to postpone it until next weekend.
The Bears were interested today to hear that a man has been fined £5,000 for “shill bidding” on eBay. This is where someone pretends to be someone else and bids against him or herself to drive the price up. We have often suspected we have been the victim of such practises ourselves but we are pleased to hear that eBay investigates these actions and takes legal proceedings against those found to be practising it. A spokesperson for them today said, “This practice is not only prohibited on eBay as it damages the integrity and fairness of trading on our site, but it is also illegal.”
Speaking of eBay, all is quiet on the new Bear front for now with no Bear auctions on the horizon. Razzi and I did nearly have a crash in Heswall last Friday when we passed a charity shop and thought we saw a Renault Bear in need of rescue. When we returned, however, we found it was not a Renault Bear after all. We will keep on searching.
We hope you are all enjoying the weather and do not forget people, let’s be careful out there!
Razzi Falls Victim Of Phishing Scam
Thu 1st Jul 2010
Poor little Razzi was distraught this morning when he checked his email. Being a very meticulous little Bear, he likes to keep up with his correspondence because he hates to keep his fans waiting for a reply. This morning however, we knew something was wrong straight away. He had only been at the computer for a few seconds when his face took on a worried look and he let out a little perturbed sigh. What could be wrong with him we all thought?
Razzi called Edward over and showed him an email he had just received…
We all looked at each other. How could anyone stoop so low as to try to perform credit card fraud on a young unsuspecting Bear? Razzi is very trusting and we would hate to think of anyone even attempting to take advantage of his good nature.
Just as we were about to ring the bank and demand an explanation, Edward started to ask a few questions. He asked Razzi did he even have a credit card because as far as we knew Razzi hides his pocket money under his bed and hates to actually part with any of it except in an emergency. Razzi admitted not only did he not have a credit card but also he was not entirely sure what one was.
Edward went further and asked Razzi did he actually have a bank account with HSBC? Razzi explained that he does not really trust banks because he likes to store his money where he can keep an eye on it, preferably in the glass jar underneath his bed.
Edward laughed and told Razzi that he had been the victim of a Phishing Scam. He explained that this is where someone criminally attempts to obtain usernames, passwords or even credit card details by masquerading as a trustworthy bank or building society.
So there we have it, some low life out there is trying to swindle a Teddy Bear! Razzi is not very pleased and Granny has promised him some extra Jammy Toast today to cheer him up. Razzi said later that it is just as well we have Edward around because; after all, he is smarter than the average Bear!
Roger Moore Hates Scousers!
Wed 30th Jun 2010
Actor Roger Moore, most famous for playing smooth talking spy James Bond, has been lamenting the demise of the Queen’s English. He says that people who speak properly are now disadvantaged and because he speaks so beautifully, if he were starting out today it would prove a handicap in his profession.
“You have to have a regional dialect to get anywhere these days”, he said. “Deborah, my daughter, complains she is always being turned down for parts because she is not regional in her speech, which is a great pity. I think it is sad that proper English is disappearing. I don’t see why it went out of fashion.”
We thought we would put this to the test and find out what our friend Andrea thought about this. We explained to her just who Roger Moore was and what he had said and asked for her reaction. She replied, “Wot da fuck is he on abwt lyk? Is he sayin’ we don’t talk propa or summit? Tell him ta cum down Kirkby n il give da twat a dig. Am fumin’ now yernoo”.
We do not think there is anything wrong with a regional dialect. Even though most of the Bears were not born or raised on Merseyside, it is funny how they inherit a little scouse accent with time. Even Razzi admitted he likes having a scouse accent and it always goes down well with the ladies.
If any of our readers would like to leave a comment and let Roger Moore know what they think please do not be shy, just leave your replies in the comments section.
…and remember people, let’s be careful out there!
England Missing A Secret Weapon
Fri 18th Jun 2010
As England prepares to face Algeria tonight in the second match of their World Cup campaign, we can disclose a little secret. As Fabio Capello tries to select his best side, we can reveal what really happened on that fateful day when we last won the trophy back in 1966. Sir Alf Ramsey, the England manager during their finest hour, had a little secret up his sleeve that seems to have eluded Capello.
The manager should not be considering if Jamie Carragher replaces Ledley King in defence. He should not be planning on putting Gareth Barry in central midfield and playing Steve Gerrard out wide. He should not even be losing sleep pondering if he can trust Robert Green in goal again!
What Fabio Capello really needs is a secret weapon, just as Sir Alf had back in 1966…
Razzi lifts the World Cup for England in 1966
